My Own Personal Reasons and Thoughts On Losing Weight

Here's a list of reasons why I want to lose weight
This should serve as a reminder and encouragement altogether.


1. I should still be at my prime beauty. I should still celebrate being a woman.
I should still
enjoy the privilege of being a woman.
2. I want to be part of my daughter’s future. I want to witness her fall in love,
fall out of
love and be there when she needs me.
3. I want to grow old with my twin soul, Allen. I want to enjoy old age with him.
4. I want to live and maintain a healthy lifestyle and inspire others to do the same.
5. I want to enjoy dressing up again…going to a shop and being able to pick any
clothes that fit my size. It’s really hard for me to shop because only a few
stores offer super duper sizes.
6. It’s hard for me to pick up something. My face turns bloody red and I can
hardly breathe.
7. I want to rebuild my confidence. When I gained a lot of weight, I realized how
inhibited I have become. I want to be liberated from nonsensical thoughts.
I want to stop feeling sorry for myself.I got myself into this,I can
definitely get myself out of it.
8. I want to be able to wear a fashionable swimwear without the anxiety of
being so conscious
about my flabs.
9 .I want to show off my long, flawless legs…hehehe
10. I want to realize my dad’s wish before he died.
11. I want to make my husband happy and give him my long overdue birthday present.
12. I want to make my daughter happy and hopefully inspire her to live a healthy life.
13. I don’t want to hide anymore from my past significant others, really old
friends and old acquaintances when I chance on them. It’s so pathetic I know.
No matter how excited I am to catch up with them, my fear of being derided
and being the core of the conversation overwhelms me.
14. I want to feel good about myself.
15. I want to take pleasure in looking at myself in the mirror.
16. I want to take good car of myself. I deserve it after all.
17. I don’t want to hide from the camera. I want to look good on pictures.
18. I want to know what a hot mom is like.
19. My body is God’s temple. I have to treat it as it is.

The Price I have to Pay In Pursuit of Pleasure

My health is deteriorating because of indulgence in food. I have been a vegetarian for 3 years, but have decided to eat meat when I got pregnant because my doctor told me I needed protein to nurture my little Xafire (inside my womb). Since then, I have stopped eating healthy food and feasted on every delicious food I can possibly have. My lifestyle has also changed. I work graveyard, which is favorable to me because I am nocturnal. My food indulgence became worst. When I get home, I gobble before I sleep, then I wake in the afternoon and join my husband and daughter for a lunch meal. I go back to sleep once I feel full and bloated. I wake up in the evening and prepare for work. Of course I eat dinner, which to my body clock, should be called breakfast. I eat a lot because I rationalize that I need more energy to survive work. At work, I eat junk and eat another full meal which serves as my lunch meal for my nocturnal life. My work involves a lot of sitting. I hardly walk. I hate exercising. I love eating meals in between. I hate doing household chores. And I love cooking. I love everything that’s deliciously sinful. I love cake, ice cream, chocolate, fried chicken, pasta, burger and fries, bacon, eggs, butter, and junk food; everything you could ever imagine. And I love dining out! I no longer eat vegetables. I lived an unhealthy lifestyle for 4 years. I gained so much weight. Presently, I am 204 pounds. I’ve been in and out of the hospital because of health problems. My cholesterol level is high. I may have a fatty liver. I am scheduled for a liver ultra sound. My blood pressure is significantly high. I feel so sorry for myself, having to experience this at an early age. I am only 28 years old. I fear that I will leave my family behind at an early age. My daughter and my husband still need me. I want to spend more time with them. I started to think more for the people I love, rather than giving in to the temptation of pursuing pleasure. I’ve been managing what I eat for the past 2 weeks. I’ve measured my bust, waist and hip. I have set my mind to take care of myself and live a healthy life style. I’ve been brisk walking for 45 minutes a day for almost a week now and have been very watchful of what I eat. I’m starting to feel better. I really believe it’s all in the mind. I am going to post updates on my progress…hopefully to inspire people. I am targeting to lose 50 pounds before the year ends. I am also going to post special healthy recipes that would be helpful to others who also want to eat healthy food. I really am hoping for the best results. I am inviting people who are experiencing the same thing, or have already succeeded in achieving their ideal weight. Please do not hesitate to leave a comment, an advise, reaction or insights. Blessed be.

Mari0nette

Initiation

I have always procrastinated creating a blog because i fear endangering my devotion to traditional writing... I am now embracing technology and using it to my advantage.I may never find the time to sit back and just scribble my thoughts on paper. I always attempt to keep track of my potent thoughts. Now is the best time. My memory is no longer reliable. My creativity is dormant. My mind is preoccupied with so many mundane things. There are too many films flashing in my head..but they are all just a glimpse of something big. I feel trapped inside waiting to be redeemed. I want to feel alive. I want to unite with my consciousness. Oh how I miss spending time alone! Thinking about anything under the sun and moon, not worrying about time at all. I will once again wander in my creative path. I will make it the best path I could ever have. I will create beautiful things. I will create with my new hands. These two new hands of a wife;these two new hands of a mother.