Hongkong Disneyland

MOZU CAFE, Ortigas, Saturday, June 10, 2011

MOZU CAFE, Ortigas, Saturday, June 10, 2011







Honda Club EK Elites

More Aquapark Photos

My daughter Xafire and her cousin Olga.

Aquapark Forrest Hills Antipolo City

My goal this year is to keep in touch with old treasured friends and become more visible to my relatives and other social gatherings. Ever since I worked nightshift, I’ve become invisible to the normal (for lack of a better word) world. I suddenly couldn’t attend family affairs and social parties. I was always missing in action. I would rather hang out with the dream king rather than be present at merrymakings. I usually spend my weekend trying to catch up with night rest. And then I have to wake up and then get some more rest. I was fine with it for a very long time. Then I just realized how distant I have become. People just got used to me saying no to their invites. I feel so sad realizing how disconnected I have become. My daughter is getting older. I don’t want her to be affected with the kind of lifestyle that we have become so accustomed to. I missed my relatives and loved ones so much. I realized that it’s not too late to make up for the lost times. This occasion is my first baby step to finally making things happen. Boy, I had so much F-U-N!

Pasalubong

My hubby woke me up to ask me if I wanted to go to the mall with them. I groggily said no and said just bring me home pasalubong. My hubby asked me what I wanted, I said, "anything will do." He said, “Well, I’m not sure about that! What if you won’t like it and you’ll just make me feel bad because you don’t like it? I said, “You know naman what I like so I leave it up to you.” Then I said with a mischievous smile, “ surprise me”. When they got home, he brought me a long baguette. He was right. I didn’t like it. Haha. But I kept it to myself so he won’t feel bad like what he has already expected. Besides, I wholeheartedly appreciate the effort. I guess baguette was just not one of the things I had in mind under the pasalubong category. Realization: Be specific. Men are not mind readers.

LOST

I'm so clueless. Right now, I know I can be my worst enemy that's why I don't take my thoughts too seriously. Thoughst just keep coming. I'm not a very good company so I won't risk my friends being in my presence. Let me regroup. Let me heal. Let me figure this out first. *Sigh*

My Spiritual Journey to Downsizing and Wellness

My Spiritual Journey to Downsizing and Wellness



GUILTY AS CHARGED

208 pounds---that was the heaviest weight my body has ever achieved. You think you can beat that! Haha! Really, it’s a combination of an extreme passion for food gorging, undisciplined habits and erratic lifestyle. I was on the road to murdering myself slowly. Overeating was my ultimate crime and food was my sole accomplice!


EMBRACING YOUR SIZE


Don’t get me wrong. Even though I weighed as much as a baby elephant not so long ago, I didn’t really hate the world I lived in. I had my share of really bad days of course; dealing with daily criticisms from friends, loved ones, acquaintances or even strangers. But this didn’t really shove me to go to a depressing, rebellious, hermit state. Sorry to disappoint you, but I wasn’t very much like those stereotypical “plus size people” who are depressed and dispirited because of weight issues. Let’s just say that I’ve been fortunate enough to carry a positive, sexy attitude always, no matter what my body size is. Besides, S-E-X-Y to me has always been about attitude and style, and not about measurements.

IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE

At 208 pounds, I started feeling sick. I was in and out of the hospital to do series of tests to find out what was wrong with me. I was later diagnosed with hypertension and a fatty liver. That’s when I finally started to pay attention to my family’s medical history and to learn about my body composition, resting heart rate, cholesterol level, and all that jazz. I was so obsessed about celebrating life that I felt the need to indulge in everything sinfully delicious. My sudden realization that all was not well meant abruptly giving up my excessive food gorging! I felt as though my life was suddenly interrupted. You could just imagine how it crashed my world! It meant saying “N-O” to something that felt so right! I’ve always been an ardent lover of food! Tasting to me is the most sensational yet wholesome human experience! I love flavors and I genuinely love to cook! For crying out loud! I belong to a family who talks about food even while eating! That’s how we take food seriously!

I used to smoke a lot like a beaten down jeepney and oftentimes my alcohol levels would make me wobbly. Aside from my “In pursuit of pleasure” lifestyle, my nocturnal profession also contributed to my deteriorating health condition.


WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE

When I was diagnosed with hypertension and fatty liver, I arrived at a decision to improve my quality of life. I was determined to revive my health and to take better care of myself. I realized how my dormant standard of living was slowly putting my life in jeopardy, and that my constant food gorging could seriously kill me. Now, I realized that it has already taken its toll. It’s funny how food can be a source of nourishment for your body, yet it can also be the very thing that destroys it too. As the old saying goes, “Too much of anything is a bad thing.”

THE CONTRACT

I decided to make a commitment to my soul to improve my way of life. Being a drama queen, I made a written contract for myself, because I wanted to have a strong and unforgettable start. I felt that the journey I was about to take was more of a spiritual journey, rather than a physical one. The feeling at that time was kind of metaphysical. (Sheila! You drama queen, you!) I want to share with you my written contract with you, hoping that it might come in handy. I renew my contract yearly, on November 22nd-my hubby’s birthday.



I, ___________, understand that I am undertaking an intensive course to lose 30 pounds starting today, Monday, June 15, 2009.

I, ___________, commit to a daily food journal, weekly updates and reading, body measurement performed every other week, daily cardio activity; various strength training, muscle building and other physical activities that will help me achieve my desired weight goal of 138 pounds by the end of this course on Sunday, November 22, 2009.

I____________, fully understand that this course will raise issues and emotions for me to deal with.

I, ___________, commit myself to excellent self-care which includes adequate sleep, proper diet, exercise and pampering, for the duration of the course.


------------------------------------------
(SIGNATURE OVER PRINTED NAME)

-----------------------------------------
(DATE)


THINGAMAJIGS AND MUSES

1. FOOD JOURNAL
• I keep a daily food journal to keep track of everything I eat. It’s my road map to staying focused and hopefully reaching a healthy destination by the end of the day. It helps me improve my eating habits and teaches me to become more familiar with and watchful of nutritional facts and labels.

2. WEEKLY MEAL PLANNER
• I also religiously keep a weekly meal planner to help me stay within my allowable diet. I have learned to develop new exciting recipes that are healthy yet delicious. I’d be delighted to share them with you. Just shoot me an email!

BASIC RULE: *Low Fat *Low Salt * Low Sugar
For beginners, you may use the food pyramid as a guide.

WHEN TO EAT:
• Follow a regular eating schedule. It keeps your blood sugar stable instead of peaking and crashing, which can lead to overeating and a general poor feeling.
• Regular meals will speed up your metabolism by challenging it to keep processing calories rather than storing them in a game of “feast and famine.”
• NEVER SKIP MEALS.


SAMPLE MEAL SCHEDULE FOR NOCTURNES LIKE US

7:00 pm / 8:00 PM BREAKFAST ½ cup rice *grilled tuna *chopseuy * orange
10:00 PM SNACK *1 cup baked banana chips (21 pcs)
12:00 AM LUNCH *1/2 cup rice * chicken tinola (chicken stew) * banana
2:00 am / 3:00 AM SNACK *gelatin or non fat yogurt
4:00 am / 5:00 AM DINNER *garden salad or gourmet sandwich (no mayo please!)



3. KNOW YOURSELF/ KNOW YOUR BODY

It’s best to start your downsize course by consulting a doctor so you can get medical information which will suit your needs and condition. By doing so, you may plan your weekly meal safely. Diet is not the same thing for all of us. One person’s healthy diet may be harmful for someone else. Not everything that is labeled “HEALHTY” is good for you.

• Know your body composition. Get your body measurements. Ask your doctor about Bioelectric Impedance Analysis. It’s the easiest way to check your body composition.
• Know your family medical history. This will help you take steps to reduce medical risk factors.
• Know your cholesterol level
• Know your resting heart rate.
• Know your waist to hip ratio. It’s the best test for predicting heart attacks.


4. LET’S GET PHYSICAL
• Exercise burns calories. It is much more effective for weight loss than dieting alone. Exercising while losing weight will help the body tone and shape up, reducing the risk of loose, saggy skin.
• Exercising releases natural endorphins that make us feel good, so it is great for reducing stress and depression. Knowing we are making an effort to improve our health can also raise our self esteem and general well-being
• So, how much exercise do we need? The recommended guidelines are that we should exercise for 30 minutes -5 times a week. Any form of exercise counts, from going for a walk to dancing or using the cardiovascular equipment at the gym. Find something that works for you.

5. FIND A BUDDY
• Diet buddies are just two people who share a common goal. They know they can count on each other to help them achieve that goal in whatever way it takes to do that. Find a good one! I found a really good one in Columbus Ohio, in the form of Ms. Shermaine Bennett. (I dedicate this article to you, Dearie ☺)


6. REWARD YOURSELF
• Have a cheat day, but not a binge day!
• There are 7 days in a week. Treat yourself to a sinful palate experience at least once a week. Reward yourself a little for being a good girl or a boy!


CHOOSING WELLNESS AS A WAY OF LIFE

I am currently at 160 pounds and am still considered heavy for my 5’7 height. My goal is to lose 22 pounds more and be at 138 pounds by November 22, 2009. I used to be a 3XXX plus size woman. Now I’m down to being simply large fit. I am aiming to be a medium fit very soon. Finally, I can shop again just about anywhere that offers large fit clothes.

It took me 2 years to lose a total of 48 pounds. I know it sounds like a very long, long process, but it’s been worth every step. I took it “slowly but surely”, so to speak. I wanted to make sure I learned and enjoyed the entire process of downsizing and improving my quality of life. Right from the start, I told my sane self that I wouldn’t be too hard on myself anymore; that I would make sure that I totally understood and confronted the emotions, issues, challenges, changes, lessons and realizations I was going to face while taking the spiritual journey to wellness. I have tried several different types of fad diets. They worked only for a while, but I eventually went back to my old lazy ways. Fad diets just made me hate the idea of losing weight and made me feel so deprived, hungry and MAD!

As you can see, I am still on a downsizing quest. I am currently pursuing a healthy lifestyle so I can discover more of the joys of choosing wellness as a way of life. I want to be able to say that I have the energy to live an active and fulfilling life because my health allows it. I want to fully suck the marrow out of life! I know that choosing wellness is a lifelong journey. It entails discipline, dedication, passion and commitment. I am just so glad I’m on my way there!

For those of you who are currently downsizing or planning to live a healthier lifestyle, please try to be kind to yourself. Please take it easy and make sure you enjoy the entire experience.

Whatever your body size is, embrace it! After all, you can only own ONE body! So love it to the fullest and take good care of it!

Anawangin, Zambales

Peaches with a Bang! hehehe

These photos were taken in the office. It was my day off but I decided to go to the office to make some money. The perils of an employee...hehehe

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

I love making lists. I'm a sucker for it actually. I carry a spiral notebook that chonicles all the things I'm preoccupied with, all equally important and rubbish things swarming my mind.

I'd like to share some random thoughts about things that make me happy.... And when i say things, that would of course mean material, tangible things. let me organize my thoughs first and categorize them the best way I can.

GURL

1) LIP GLOSS
I don't believe I can live without it anymore. I feel unfisnished without it. It looks damn good on lips! My hubby says it looks really delicious, but it feels icky. --I need to take it off before I kiss him!

2) PH CARE COOL BREEZE SCENT
Aside from the fact that it smells good, it feels good too. I take it everywhere I go.
3) CONCEALER
. I think it's one of the greatest invention a woman must have. Applied around the eyes, it makes you look younger and gives you an natural glow. And its other significant purpose works like magic, it hides unwanted blemishes and softens undesirable strong features.

4) MASACARA
It's a great knack of enhancing a woman's eyes. It sure does magic for me.

5) SCENT
Scent is very central for me. I have a very strong appetite for a lot of things.
And one of them is to satisfy my sense of smell. Scent is a very powerful means of stirring up memories. I could cry in an instant just by smelling something. I could just feel a sudden change of mood just by smelling something that would identify my past. Scents are a good memory summon spells. I'm wearing Summer by Burberry now. The scent that most compliments my body chemistry is powdery musk. It's fresh and not too overpowering.

6)

mitzi and me

Allen and chris

Jayme, RR and Me

Turistas

Me, Rodette and Jayme

inside the elevator (Peaches, me and Jayme)

THERE ARE TOO MANY STARS BUT NOT ENOUGH SKY

MY HEART'S CREED

I have always kept the creed in my heart that someone, somewhere under the motley mood of heaven, a beautiful, exclusive flame shall ignite my heart. He shall embrace every part of me. And shall accept me for who I really am. He shall partake in the Covenant of Love with me, and shall consecrate my heart’s fulfillment. I bore this conviction everywhere I go, along with the faith that I so long kept no matter what the sky’s shade is. I kept my arms gingerly open. For years, the creed that I beheld kept me sane and breathing. And on a few but rhythmic moons, it also kept me insane and bleeding. It tortured me a lot. One might say I’ve missed a lot of glorious moments a single woman would take pleasure in. But I was determined to chase my heart’s creed. Yes, I was a virgin for 23 years. I withstood the cravings of the flesh. It was not easy. It was a conflicting mental, emotional and physical torture. Many times, I would think it was becoming a curse. My corporeal needs contradicted my heart’s desire. I wanted to preserve my self for a more profound cause. It was an old fashion way of declaring my devotion to the one exclusive flame I have yet to meet. I have made up my mind. There’s no point in changing. There's no point in stopping.


SHATTERED SHADOWS, SACRED SCARS

I know how a broken heart beats. I know how a cold night attacks. Moonless heaven, dead stars and empty shadow; they are dark and dreary; dangerous and deadly; but they too are part of this crazy, obscure theater called life. They leave scars I know. But the scars they leave are to be treated sacred. The very scars etched, I still wear with bearing and pride. The sacred scars narrate the story of my life. They made me stronger. They taught me valuable lessons. The sacred scars remind me time and again what I’ve withstood. And it shall remain a constant emblem of what is to come.

THOSE WHO MUST BE KEPT

I. Rhythms and Lullabies

In solitude, I was never really alone. I had secret companions to which I owe a great deal. I thank them for keeping me company. I thank them for being my muse during my fruitful hibernating days. My deepest gratitude belongs to my literary companions: Emily Dickinson, Edgar Allan Poe, Neil Gaiman, Anne Rice, Oscar Wilde, Charles Dickens, Leo Buscaglia, Brahm Stoker, Poppy Z. Brite and all other writers I came across with, sharing me their gift to maneuver beautiful words that caused me a tear, a spark or a smile. Music of course defined every biting moment. I pay reverence to Tori Amos, Jewel, Cynthia Alexander, Fiona Apple, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage Against the Machine, Led Zeppelin, Nine Inch Nails, Echo and the Bunnymen, Cocteau Twins, Dead Can Dance…and the list goes on…they have no idea how much effect they have over me. (I love the way we keep in touch). They made darkness bearable. They made hibernation meaningful, beautiful and essential.

The sweet sound of silence revealed its course. In silence, I heard my own lullaby. It taught me what I would never learn from hearing the everyday sounds my ears have become accustomed to. My own vibration revealed---my very own self. And so by listening to my very own, I’ve unraveled the greatest mystery in life; that is greater than the mystery of death . It is beautiful and the most essential element in life. It is the mystery of Love! Love. To love! The alpha and the omega. The only truth that one must discover and experience within, before one must impart.

II. Circles and Spirals

The mystery is moving in circles and spirals. So is the course of discovery. They complement each other. The spiral is a circle that does not wish to end where it began, but pushes upward and downward in a circular motion. That’s how the beauty of mystery and discovery moves for those who succumb to it. I’ve learned to let myself flow in circles and spirals. I’ve become one with nature. I’ve indulged in every twinkling detail life has graced me. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve learned life's valuable lessons the hard way. they've made me stronger and wiser. The course of learning becomes more beautiful as you age. It becomes more intoxicating. It gives you more drive to live life. It opens more dorrs of possibilities.

IN BETWEEN DAYS

Don’t get me wrong. I had quite a few important relationships before. I could make a fortune writing about the bitter sweet love symphonies of my past. I enjoyed it while it lasted. I tried to always give it my best shot and have always hoped for the best— predominantly hoping it would be the one exclusive flame I’ve been priming all my life. Nevertheless, they were all special to me, in one way or the other.

I have always been careful and cautious in dealing with men. I was so determined and guarded. Yes I would fool around, but then it would always just end up hanging. But many times, I was already on the verge of giving in. Good riddance! My precious tears would be my last resort!!! Hahaha! Me and my sick head! Sorry guys! It’s just between me and my heart’s creed. But believe me, we both suffered! Suffered my desire!

Building relationships is a long process of trial and effort. From a different perspective (being in the arms of the one you truly love), the past relationships I had were filling but not fulfilling. At the time I was at it, I knew from the very depths of my soul that my heart remained reserved. It remained guarded. I’d say it was more for survival. For the time being, it was essential. Essential because it was in preparation for the sweet arrival of the exclusive flame I’ve been waiting for.

I didn’t really preserve myself for someone I’ll walk the altar with. I may be old fashioned but wedding was not something that was ultimate and final. It’s more of preserving myself for the coming of my heart's exclusive flame.

UNGUARDED MOMENT

It’s just one of those ordinary days when you just do things the usual way. We grew up in the same village and had even been childhood enemies a long time ago. At the prime of my youth, we had regular drinking sessions with common friends. He had a long term serious relationship at that time. I had spur-of-the-moment affection with some silly guy. I knew him for many, many moons. I became part of his circle of friends. Our treatment to each other was very casual. Although I must admit that I've always felt the gravity of attraction pulling me towards him. His savage mystique's just too hard to resist. The short introductory conversations we had little by little have led to longer hours of talks. And the loger hours of talks led to a vigil of wider and deeper connection. We share the same music, the same passion and same eye for beauty. He was a sweet delight. We would spend hours on the phone just talking about anything under the sun. There were uncomfortable silences. But those silences were moments to blush, to sigh, to pause and to secretly smile. I suddenly came to the realization that I was already entrusting myself to this man. He's become my everyday bread--nourishing my mind, my body, my heart and my soul. During my unguarded moment, love has found its way to finally consecarate my heart.

The long talks went on and on. I was addicted to the endless conversations and the sleepless night. We have unconsciously formulated our secret language of love----the language in which only lovers could relate to and understand.

My Own Personal Reasons and Thoughts On Losing Weight

Here's a list of reasons why I want to lose weight
This should serve as a reminder and encouragement altogether.


1. I should still be at my prime beauty. I should still celebrate being a woman.
I should still
enjoy the privilege of being a woman.
2. I want to be part of my daughter’s future. I want to witness her fall in love,
fall out of
love and be there when she needs me.
3. I want to grow old with my twin soul, Allen. I want to enjoy old age with him.
4. I want to live and maintain a healthy lifestyle and inspire others to do the same.
5. I want to enjoy dressing up again…going to a shop and being able to pick any
clothes that fit my size. It’s really hard for me to shop because only a few
stores offer super duper sizes.
6. It’s hard for me to pick up something. My face turns bloody red and I can
hardly breathe.
7. I want to rebuild my confidence. When I gained a lot of weight, I realized how
inhibited I have become. I want to be liberated from nonsensical thoughts.
I want to stop feeling sorry for myself.I got myself into this,I can
definitely get myself out of it.
8. I want to be able to wear a fashionable swimwear without the anxiety of
being so conscious
about my flabs.
9 .I want to show off my long, flawless legs…hehehe
10. I want to realize my dad’s wish before he died.
11. I want to make my husband happy and give him my long overdue birthday present.
12. I want to make my daughter happy and hopefully inspire her to live a healthy life.
13. I don’t want to hide anymore from my past significant others, really old
friends and old acquaintances when I chance on them. It’s so pathetic I know.
No matter how excited I am to catch up with them, my fear of being derided
and being the core of the conversation overwhelms me.
14. I want to feel good about myself.
15. I want to take pleasure in looking at myself in the mirror.
16. I want to take good car of myself. I deserve it after all.
17. I don’t want to hide from the camera. I want to look good on pictures.
18. I want to know what a hot mom is like.
19. My body is God’s temple. I have to treat it as it is.

The Price I have to Pay In Pursuit of Pleasure

My health is deteriorating because of indulgence in food. I have been a vegetarian for 3 years, but have decided to eat meat when I got pregnant because my doctor told me I needed protein to nurture my little Xafire (inside my womb). Since then, I have stopped eating healthy food and feasted on every delicious food I can possibly have. My lifestyle has also changed. I work graveyard, which is favorable to me because I am nocturnal. My food indulgence became worst. When I get home, I gobble before I sleep, then I wake in the afternoon and join my husband and daughter for a lunch meal. I go back to sleep once I feel full and bloated. I wake up in the evening and prepare for work. Of course I eat dinner, which to my body clock, should be called breakfast. I eat a lot because I rationalize that I need more energy to survive work. At work, I eat junk and eat another full meal which serves as my lunch meal for my nocturnal life. My work involves a lot of sitting. I hardly walk. I hate exercising. I love eating meals in between. I hate doing household chores. And I love cooking. I love everything that’s deliciously sinful. I love cake, ice cream, chocolate, fried chicken, pasta, burger and fries, bacon, eggs, butter, and junk food; everything you could ever imagine. And I love dining out! I no longer eat vegetables. I lived an unhealthy lifestyle for 4 years. I gained so much weight. Presently, I am 204 pounds. I’ve been in and out of the hospital because of health problems. My cholesterol level is high. I may have a fatty liver. I am scheduled for a liver ultra sound. My blood pressure is significantly high. I feel so sorry for myself, having to experience this at an early age. I am only 28 years old. I fear that I will leave my family behind at an early age. My daughter and my husband still need me. I want to spend more time with them. I started to think more for the people I love, rather than giving in to the temptation of pursuing pleasure. I’ve been managing what I eat for the past 2 weeks. I’ve measured my bust, waist and hip. I have set my mind to take care of myself and live a healthy life style. I’ve been brisk walking for 45 minutes a day for almost a week now and have been very watchful of what I eat. I’m starting to feel better. I really believe it’s all in the mind. I am going to post updates on my progress…hopefully to inspire people. I am targeting to lose 50 pounds before the year ends. I am also going to post special healthy recipes that would be helpful to others who also want to eat healthy food. I really am hoping for the best results. I am inviting people who are experiencing the same thing, or have already succeeded in achieving their ideal weight. Please do not hesitate to leave a comment, an advise, reaction or insights. Blessed be.

Mari0nette

Initiation

I have always procrastinated creating a blog because i fear endangering my devotion to traditional writing... I am now embracing technology and using it to my advantage.I may never find the time to sit back and just scribble my thoughts on paper. I always attempt to keep track of my potent thoughts. Now is the best time. My memory is no longer reliable. My creativity is dormant. My mind is preoccupied with so many mundane things. There are too many films flashing in my head..but they are all just a glimpse of something big. I feel trapped inside waiting to be redeemed. I want to feel alive. I want to unite with my consciousness. Oh how I miss spending time alone! Thinking about anything under the sun and moon, not worrying about time at all. I will once again wander in my creative path. I will make it the best path I could ever have. I will create beautiful things. I will create with my new hands. These two new hands of a wife;these two new hands of a mother.